My life without Facebook

Here I go, ready to tackle the world without Facebook!  Oh *gasp*  Why would anyone want to do that?

I don't know, maybe I'm just tired of the drama.  I'm tired of fake friends and people who just want to spy on me.  I know, I know, how is the blog thing any different?  I'm not sure, but somehow this feels different to me.  I have no commitment to anyone here.  I can say what I like and be done with it.  If no one comments, great.  If someone does, awesome.  I am not obligated to say anything to anyone but myself....and I'm a selfish person right now.  I have to be or I'm just never going to heal emotionally.

That's what it all boils down to.  I need to heal emotionally.  I have a lifetime of healing to do and I have only skimmed the surface in that area.

On the way out to the farm to get milk today, a song came on that is very dear to my heart.  It's "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson.  She talks about the pain of her childhood and how she still to this day can't trust anyone, including herself.  Every time I hear that song, I cry because it's MY story.

So, I'm crying while driving and singing and pouring my heart out.  Yeah, that's not good to do while driving!!  Good thing I was on country roads, y'all!  Yikes!  Each time I hear this song, I do heal a little bit.  Today I think the Lord showed me that my parents hurt me because THEY were hurt themselves.  It's such a horrible cycle.  I know things about their pasts that ARE very hurtful and no doubt wrecked them emotionally.  They couldn't help but turn around and hurt their child, right?  WRONG. I think we have the choice to STOP the cycle.  We can say I'm not doing this anymore.  The BUCK STOPS HERE as Harry Truman said.

The buck stops with me.  I'm not going to hurt my children and if I have hurt them, I'm going to make it up to them as best I can so that THEY won't hurt their children.  Somewhere along the line we're not going to have a family history of hurting other people and I'm going to be a part of that.

SO, yes I left Facebook.  My intentions are to remain gone for the Summer months.  I need to focus on my kidlets and my tan.  Wow, my priorities are in order huh?  LOL  Vitamin D is good for you, by gosh!  Facebook is something that has the potential to hurt my kids if I don't watch it.  I have spent more time on that blasted social networking site than I care to mention.  Maybe some day I'll be ready to talk about that.  I'm ready to just break that habit right now.  So I'm done.  I deactivated my account today.  It'll be there waiting for me when IF I decide to go back.

I have a lot of thoughts running through my head, so I probably will be blogging a lot more often.  Maybe even daily.  Stay tuned :)