My Madi Grace

Last night I decided I needed some one on one time with my baby girl.  Ok, now this "baby" is actually turning 10 in a little over a month, but she's MY baby girl.  She is immature in some ways, but I'm VERY ok with that.  Let me tell you a bit about my time with my girl last night and why this child is so special.  First, a bit of a disclaimer though.  I do NOT have a favorite child.  It's not within me to have more affection for one over the other.  Each of my 4 children is special in their own way, for their own reasons.  I have plans to blog about each of them, but the first one is going to be my Madilen.

The reason she's so dear to my heart is for so many reasons.  She's my baby, she's my only brown eyed child (like me), she's so affectionate, she's cuddly, she's sensitive, she's passionate......but the number one reason is probably because she is ME in every way.  This is why this is so important to me......

I wasn't a very happy child.  I won't go into all of that right now.  Most who know me, know the background stuff and I don't need to rehash that.  Overall, I played a good part, pretended to be happy, smiled a lot, etc etc.  I was a miserable child inside, dying slowly emotionally speaking. 

My Madilen Grace looks so much like me......she has brown hair and brown eyes, my only brown eyed child.  How weird considering "they" usually say brown eyes are dominant.  When I look at her, it's like I'm seeing myself as a child, only happy......truly, genuinely happy in every way.  She enjoys life to the fullest!  She's mouthy like me, she's stubborn and passionate about everything!  She's emotional and she feels things deeply.  She's a crier and she loves to be comforted. 

So last night, she asked me to read her a book at bedtime.  We read "How To Be A Superhero"....what fun!  Then we read some of a book of Children's Bible stories and afterward just talked.  I asked her random questions and we snuggled.  I gave her smoochies and squeezed her tightly.  I felt like I was hugging myself and something deep inside me melted.

I may not have been a happy child, but I can be one now.....through my Madi girl.  God has blessed me so much by giving me this child.  The pain of my past is melting away a little more each day as I hear her talk, see her play and watch her live life with JOY.