Thinking quite a lot this morning about our way of life. Have you ever taken a good hard look at where you've been and wondered what was I thinking? That is how I feel about sending my children to public school. I didn't know any differently at the time. That's just what you did.
In the last 5 years that we've been doing this, I have always said "I'm not anti-school" and reflecting on that today, I have to admit that I really AM anti-school. I think I just said that because well, it's hard for me to hurt people's feelings and I certainly don't like criticism (who does?). I have some good friends and family members that are or have previously been school teachers. I love and adore these people and admire what they do and have done. So it's hard for me to say I'm against the very thing that is their livelihood and calling in life. This is not an anti-teacher rant, because I believe they are amazing people, I just don't personally believe it works. School, that is.
School taught me mixed messages. My 4th grade teacher, Mr. Robert Parker, taught me that I was a free thinker and to write those thoughts down. He taught me the art of creative writing and I will be forever grateful to him for that. He instilled in me a love for writing. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to put my feelings down in type/print. Mr. Parker gave me the freedom to be me and I enjoyed that.
The mixed messages I got came in other areas. When the bell rings, you have to stop what you're doing and rush to the next class because that's what "they" think is best. You MUST do reading, writing, math, history and science all in one day's time. Who cares if you are busy writing and get lost in thought. It's time to add 2+2 or even worse, it's time to figure some complicated algebraic equation that you will never again use outside of this building. Maybe someone would, but not me. I'm not a math girl in any way, shape or form. I write, I speak, I don't do math. Well, I balance a check book. So addition, subtraction, multiplication and division are good things, but that's as far as I go. Maybe some fractions in the kitchen when I'm cooking, but seriously that's it.
School taught me to be scared of tests and grades and that I would be rewarded for doing exactly what the teacher told me. If not, you'd be sent to the principal for discipline. I honestly can't remember EVER going to the principal's office. You were not allowed to question anything in school. You did what you were told, period. They told you what time to play, what time to eat and if you had to go to the bathroom during class time, it took an act of congress or maybe some wet pants to get you there. Asking for a "hall pass" was humiliating at times. God forbid we should talk with our "neighbor" in class.
School taught me to conform. Kind of reminds me of "drinking the koolaid". We all know that sort of mentality. Gosh I drank the koolaid so many times that I didn't realize there was something more refreshing out there.
School also taught me that I'm not as good as everyone else and that I can't possibly ever think I will be. I clearly remember someone making fun of the outfit I had on in 5th grade. It was a homemade pant suit that my grandma had made me and I loved it at the time. I'm not sure I ever wore it after that day. What a shame. My grandma was a very good seamstress. That obsession with clothing haunted me during my entire time of public education. I never did have name brand clothing and it was painfully obvious that I wasn't going to fit in because of it.
School taught me that I wasn't pretty enough and I sure wasn't rich enough. Let's not even talk about how thin I was NOT.
School taught me to be ashamed of who I was.
Fast forward to becoming a mother. I was throwing my children into the same lion's den I had fought for all of those years. I knew no better.
My first real experience with a homeschooler was my friend Jenny, whom I met online and am still friends with to this day. I loved her but thought what she did was a little odd. Why she wanted to be with her children all day long was beyond me. What were those kids learning anyway? Little did I know that the years I would watch Jenny through the computer monitor would prove to be the boost I would need to propel me into this new lifestyle that was soon going to overtake me.
Jenny, THANK YOU for being that "weird" home educating mama who loved me even when I wasn't very supportive of what you were doing. I hope you truly know what a blessing you have been to me and how much the Lord has used you and your life to encourage me. I pray that you will forgive my ignorance.
I count it great JOY to know you.
More thoughts on becoming a weird home educator will come in future blogs.....I need to put a pause in these things or I could literally write a book.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Weird Week 2
Truly a WEIRD day for me and no coincidence that is our message series right now. We had to attend church without Greg, which was something I am not used to doing. Back in the Fall when he was working a lot of Sundays, we just didn't go to church at all if he had to work. I felt the Lord nudging me to go today, however. I don't like going anywhere like that without my "covering". For some people that just sounds strange, ok weird, but it's a hard thing to describe. When we're here at home, even if he's not here, I still feel that covering, but when I'm out in public, I feel bare. It's like being in a rainstorm without your umbrella. Greg is my umbrella, yet when I'm out in the world, my umbrella is usually absent. Even though, yes, I do function without my husband, we are such a part of each other that it feels wrong to be without him.
That's weird. But I think that's good. Especially when I see so many marriages breaking up and so many husbands and wives that actually love being apart. I can't imagine. I don't want to EVER feel that way about my husband.
Fast forward..... as I turned to our first scripture verse for the message, I came across scripture that at some point had meant enough to me that I highlighted it. It was 1 Peter 1: 6-7. My NLT translation says this: So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine.
It stopped me in my tracks. That wasn't even the verse I was looking up, but there for me today was a verse that my Abba chose for me to see. Something I had highlighted long ago, who knows when. So I'm stopped in my tracks, tears welling up in my eyes. Wonderful JOY. What will that feel like? Overwhelming? I'm sure I'll know when I feel it. I can't wait!
The message goes on and I hear some things that speak directly to my heart. Like how we tell our kids it's "ok" to be different, but we really should be telling them that it's BETTER to be different. He said that different is better and normal is BROKEN!! Wow! Oh and living out your OWN "weird" too. Don't copy someone else's weird.....otherwise you're weird normal. LOL I have to laugh at Pastor Craig Groeschel. What a funny guy. I appreciate his sense of humor so much.
He has recently spoken of some of the "weird" things his family does that mirrors my own life. They home educate their kids (we're on year 5), they used to but no longer celebrate Halloween (stopped that 11 years ago), their children don't date and don't WANT to. After a slightly less than desirable time with our oldest, we decided that dating was not going to happen for the other 3 while they were under our roof. We are praying for their future spouses and really would like to see them go through more of a "courting" type of relationship. We are praying for the will of Yahweh in all of this.
Oh speaking of Yahweh, yeah that's weird to most too. It was weird when I started calling him that and honestly I do still speak of him as "God" at times because well...darn it, I think others will think I'm too WEIRD for calling him something that most don't. Man, that's wrong! If I feel led to call Him Yahweh, then by gosh I'm gonna do it!! Oh and I believe Jesus is actually Yeshua or Yahshua....yeah, the jury is still out on that. Still studying to find my own truth in that matter. :)
One of my biggest obstacles to overcome in becoming more weird in a Godly way is learning this simple truth that Pastor Craig shared:
Becoming obsessed with what people think about you is the quickest way to forget what God thinks about you! Don't lie for the opinions of people. Live for God and get WEIRD!
This week my public declaration is this: I am going to do what I feel called to do whether people think it's weird or not. I am not going to back down or puff up when someone offends me. I am going to consider it joy to be ridiculed and questioned for my beliefs. That is how I know that I'm doing what my beloved Yahweh has asked me to do.
That's weird. But I think that's good. Especially when I see so many marriages breaking up and so many husbands and wives that actually love being apart. I can't imagine. I don't want to EVER feel that way about my husband.
Fast forward..... as I turned to our first scripture verse for the message, I came across scripture that at some point had meant enough to me that I highlighted it. It was 1 Peter 1: 6-7. My NLT translation says this: So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine.
It stopped me in my tracks. That wasn't even the verse I was looking up, but there for me today was a verse that my Abba chose for me to see. Something I had highlighted long ago, who knows when. So I'm stopped in my tracks, tears welling up in my eyes. Wonderful JOY. What will that feel like? Overwhelming? I'm sure I'll know when I feel it. I can't wait!
The message goes on and I hear some things that speak directly to my heart. Like how we tell our kids it's "ok" to be different, but we really should be telling them that it's BETTER to be different. He said that different is better and normal is BROKEN!! Wow! Oh and living out your OWN "weird" too. Don't copy someone else's weird.....otherwise you're weird normal. LOL I have to laugh at Pastor Craig Groeschel. What a funny guy. I appreciate his sense of humor so much.
He has recently spoken of some of the "weird" things his family does that mirrors my own life. They home educate their kids (we're on year 5), they used to but no longer celebrate Halloween (stopped that 11 years ago), their children don't date and don't WANT to. After a slightly less than desirable time with our oldest, we decided that dating was not going to happen for the other 3 while they were under our roof. We are praying for their future spouses and really would like to see them go through more of a "courting" type of relationship. We are praying for the will of Yahweh in all of this.
Oh speaking of Yahweh, yeah that's weird to most too. It was weird when I started calling him that and honestly I do still speak of him as "God" at times because well...darn it, I think others will think I'm too WEIRD for calling him something that most don't. Man, that's wrong! If I feel led to call Him Yahweh, then by gosh I'm gonna do it!! Oh and I believe Jesus is actually Yeshua or Yahshua....yeah, the jury is still out on that. Still studying to find my own truth in that matter. :)
One of my biggest obstacles to overcome in becoming more weird in a Godly way is learning this simple truth that Pastor Craig shared:
Becoming obsessed with what people think about you is the quickest way to forget what God thinks about you! Don't lie for the opinions of people. Live for God and get WEIRD!
This week my public declaration is this: I am going to do what I feel called to do whether people think it's weird or not. I am not going to back down or puff up when someone offends me. I am going to consider it joy to be ridiculed and questioned for my beliefs. That is how I know that I'm doing what my beloved Yahweh has asked me to do.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
The Old Schoolhouse Magazine offer- GET THIS!!
Spring Bouquet of Gifts- TOS Magazine
Click on this link if you are interested in getting, in my opinion, the BEST magazine devoted to home education! I have been a subscriber for just over a year now and know this is one magazine that I would never want to live without. In addition to the encouraging and informative magazine, they have a website that has great resources to aid in your home education venture. They also have a home schooling convention online, which based on the preview session I attended a few weeks ago, looks to be the best!
They are offering 19 free gifts if you sign up for a 2 year subscription for only $39. It is well worth the money!!
Click on this link if you are interested in getting, in my opinion, the BEST magazine devoted to home education! I have been a subscriber for just over a year now and know this is one magazine that I would never want to live without. In addition to the encouraging and informative magazine, they have a website that has great resources to aid in your home education venture. They also have a home schooling convention online, which based on the preview session I attended a few weeks ago, looks to be the best!
They are offering 19 free gifts if you sign up for a 2 year subscription for only $39. It is well worth the money!!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I'm weird, get over it
Today I'm thinking a lot about the easter holiday and how I no longer want or need to celebrate it in the traditional ways. That makes me weird to the world. Heck, that makes me weird to Christians. I don't believe the resurrection happened on a Sunday morning at sunrise after Jesus was crucified on a Friday. The Bible tells us 3 days. Friday to Sunday at sunrise isn't even 2 days. It's up to interpretation, I suppose. Speaking of Sunday, that's another thing I don't get. Isn't the Sabbath technically on Saturday if we go by our present day calendar? Am I understanding this wrong? The 7th day is the day of Sabbath, right? When I look on my calendar that means Saturday. Yeah, just another way the church has changed things.
My heart cries out to feel some change in our world, but I'm still in the changing ME stages, so I'm not even going to attempt to change anything else.
Hey, I did another weird thing today. I made a dentist appt for our family. That in itself isn't weird, but making an appt at a dentist that is over 2 hours away is a little odd when there's an abundance of them locally to choose from. Just looking for someone who might listen to me and our concerns and this one looks like he might fit that bill. A traditional dentist who eventually went the other way. Turned his back on the myths of traditional dentistry. I like him already. I don't do anything "traditional", now do I?
I think the hardest part about realizing you're weird is knowing that my oldest child isn't going along with me. She is at the stage in her life where she's making her own decisions. The other children have no choice but to follow mom at this point. At least they seem to like it. I can see it's painful for her to watch me abandon all the things I once thought were "normal". She doesn't agree with me on much of anything these days. Not eating, health, spiritual matters, worldly matters. If I like something, she hates it and vice versa. It's hard for me as a mom. This young woman that I adore and love isn't on the same path that I am and she thinks my path is really crazy. I see her moving away from me a little more each day and I have to find a way to be ok with that.
That's a little of my weirdness today.
My heart cries out to feel some change in our world, but I'm still in the changing ME stages, so I'm not even going to attempt to change anything else.
Hey, I did another weird thing today. I made a dentist appt for our family. That in itself isn't weird, but making an appt at a dentist that is over 2 hours away is a little odd when there's an abundance of them locally to choose from. Just looking for someone who might listen to me and our concerns and this one looks like he might fit that bill. A traditional dentist who eventually went the other way. Turned his back on the myths of traditional dentistry. I like him already. I don't do anything "traditional", now do I?
I think the hardest part about realizing you're weird is knowing that my oldest child isn't going along with me. She is at the stage in her life where she's making her own decisions. The other children have no choice but to follow mom at this point. At least they seem to like it. I can see it's painful for her to watch me abandon all the things I once thought were "normal". She doesn't agree with me on much of anything these days. Not eating, health, spiritual matters, worldly matters. If I like something, she hates it and vice versa. It's hard for me as a mom. This young woman that I adore and love isn't on the same path that I am and she thinks my path is really crazy. I see her moving away from me a little more each day and I have to find a way to be ok with that.
That's a little of my weirdness today.
Time With God For Mothers by Jack Countryman
If you read one a day, this devotional book would last you about 3 months, but I was so engrossed, that I read it through in just a few days! I doubt the messages of these very short devotionals will ever get old. Some of the topics are The Joy in Jesus, Serving Others with Joy and Mother's Sacrifice, just to name a few. Merely "snippets" as far as devotionals are concerned, they carry a powerful punch. The author gets to the point and uses some powerful scripture to back up his messages. The scripture is listed in New King James Version.
I especially enjoyed the extras at the back of the book such as, Mother's Prayers in the Bible, scripture relating to the responsibilities of motherhood and the space for note taking. If you are tired of the same old devotionals, this might be the book for you. I plan on using it daily in my own moments with Yahweh.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Monday, April 4, 2011
I'm weird, Part 2
The kidlets and I had a long talk about being weird and what that means. They came up with a lot of the same things I said in my earlier blog post and Macie added one that I really enjoyed hearing her say. She said we're weird because we dress modestly and wear skirts a lot. :) Then when I was in the shower, Madilen came in and said oh mommy, I thought of something else we do. We don't wear swimsuits that show off our bodies and that's weird. :) (The girls wear longer shorts and tshirt type shirts to swim in. I think they're called "rash guards". Well anyway, that got me to thinking about my conviction for us to wear skirts most of the time. That happened almost 2 years ago! I can't believe it's been so long! At first I got rid of all the pants and capris! UGH! How I regretted that decision later on. LOL Sometimes it's just not practical or comfortable for me to be in a skirt! Like gardening, that is one area that just doesn't work out well for me in a skirt. OR sometimes it's just too blasted cold. But the majority of the time we wear skirts. I have since started purchasing jeans and capris for us to wear on occasion. :) We're not some weird.......oh wait, yes, we are...well anyway, we're not crazy. I don't know, whatever, doesn't matter. The fact is, we like it. I think it makes me feel more feminine and it certainly helps with men staring at your derrière in some tight pants. LOL
One thing I've noticed quite a lot......I don't think it's a coincidence either, but men seem to hold the door open for me and seem more respectful when I'm in my skirts than when I'm in pants. I had someone else tell me that happened to them when they started dressing that way too! I wish I knew what that was all about.
I believe that dressing modestly, whether in pants or skirts is very important in this day and age. Men are visual creatures and they can and will be tempted VERY easily. If we cause them to have lustful thoughts, we are causing them to stumble. I refuse to be a stumbling block to anyone, especially a man that is not my husband!!
NOTICE/WARNING/DISCLAIMER: These opinions are MINE and MINE ALONE. I am not implying anything, so please don't read anything into this. I am not judging you because of what you choose to wear. We all have to do what we feel led to do. I am doing just that.
One thing I've noticed quite a lot......I don't think it's a coincidence either, but men seem to hold the door open for me and seem more respectful when I'm in my skirts than when I'm in pants. I had someone else tell me that happened to them when they started dressing that way too! I wish I knew what that was all about.
I believe that dressing modestly, whether in pants or skirts is very important in this day and age. Men are visual creatures and they can and will be tempted VERY easily. If we cause them to have lustful thoughts, we are causing them to stumble. I refuse to be a stumbling block to anyone, especially a man that is not my husband!!
NOTICE/WARNING/DISCLAIMER: These opinions are MINE and MINE ALONE. I am not implying anything, so please don't read anything into this. I am not judging you because of what you choose to wear. We all have to do what we feel led to do. I am doing just that.
I'm weird and here's why
We have been attending a LifeChurch.tv network church that is local in our area. The message series we've just started is called Weird, because normal isn't working.
That got me to thinking about "normal" and how I always say I want to get back to normal. Things have been pretty much everything BUT normal in our household for a long time. I don't really know that I even WANT anything that resembles normal anymore, because normal is worldly. As a follower of Christ, I don't want to be worldly. I've been there/done that and it simply doesn't work for me.
We raised our firstborn child pretty much in the "normal" way. The 2nd child had a great deal of normal, I'd say maybe about half of his life give or take. Children number 3 and especially 4 are living the weird lifestyle.
Let me just break down the weird things we do/believe. This will be a condensed list and I can expand on them at a later time or if anyone is interested, I can expand sooner than later.
1. We don't celebrate or acknowledge Halloween in any way, shape or form. We stopped celebrating this "holiday" in 2001.
2. We no longer celebrate Christmas or Easter as "Christian" holidays either. Oh, yikes......YES, we ARE fully devoted believers in Jesus Christ and have been "saved" and walk with Him closely and fully. We just don't believe these are truly "Christian" holidays.
3. Oh speaking of, I don't call myself a Christian anymore.....I am a disciple and I follow Christ. I can't call myself a Christian any longer based on what Christianity has become as a whole. I AM a deeply spiritual person who has a very real and personal relationship with her Abba Father, Yahweh.
4. We home educate our children and lean toward the "unschooling" way of life. What makes me ultra weird is that I no longer care what people's opinions are on that.
5. We use essential oils and prayer instead of over the counter or prescription medications. I believe in miracles and healing and have experienced them firsthand.
6. We allowed our firstborn to "date" but our other 3 WON'T be dating.
7. We are going to encourage our daughters to remain at home until they are married or until GOD moves them from us. We encourage our children to practice sexual purity.
8. We eat a great deal of organic foods and I cook from scratch every single day.
9. I believe the body of Christ isn't doing it's job.
10. I believe that the man is the head of the household, the "covering" of his wife and that he is to be respected and honored and never publicly belittled.
That's just 10 of the ways I think we're weird. The message series I spoke of earlier challenges us to be weird in a GOD kind of way. I have a lot of other weird ways about me and like I said, I'll expand on those another time. I want to be set apart from the world. I want others to see Christ in me and say wow, that's weird, but yet at the same time desire to know HIM a little more. MANY of the things we do that are weird are because we believe Yahweh is leading us to be and do things differently. Unfortunately, I've encountered people who think that because I do things differently, that I will harshly judge them for not being like me.
I literally weep when I hear someone say that to me. If only you knew how much love I have for others, you wouldn't even think that. See, that's something about our world that I despise.....we automatically assume that others are judging us just because they are different. Sometimes our fears are justified and they are indeed placing judgement. We shouldn't automatically assume that though.
I'm weird.....I wanna be weird. Yahweh, make me as weird as you want to make me.
That got me to thinking about "normal" and how I always say I want to get back to normal. Things have been pretty much everything BUT normal in our household for a long time. I don't really know that I even WANT anything that resembles normal anymore, because normal is worldly. As a follower of Christ, I don't want to be worldly. I've been there/done that and it simply doesn't work for me.
We raised our firstborn child pretty much in the "normal" way. The 2nd child had a great deal of normal, I'd say maybe about half of his life give or take. Children number 3 and especially 4 are living the weird lifestyle.
Let me just break down the weird things we do/believe. This will be a condensed list and I can expand on them at a later time or if anyone is interested, I can expand sooner than later.
1. We don't celebrate or acknowledge Halloween in any way, shape or form. We stopped celebrating this "holiday" in 2001.
2. We no longer celebrate Christmas or Easter as "Christian" holidays either. Oh, yikes......YES, we ARE fully devoted believers in Jesus Christ and have been "saved" and walk with Him closely and fully. We just don't believe these are truly "Christian" holidays.
3. Oh speaking of, I don't call myself a Christian anymore.....I am a disciple and I follow Christ. I can't call myself a Christian any longer based on what Christianity has become as a whole. I AM a deeply spiritual person who has a very real and personal relationship with her Abba Father, Yahweh.
4. We home educate our children and lean toward the "unschooling" way of life. What makes me ultra weird is that I no longer care what people's opinions are on that.
5. We use essential oils and prayer instead of over the counter or prescription medications. I believe in miracles and healing and have experienced them firsthand.
6. We allowed our firstborn to "date" but our other 3 WON'T be dating.
7. We are going to encourage our daughters to remain at home until they are married or until GOD moves them from us. We encourage our children to practice sexual purity.
8. We eat a great deal of organic foods and I cook from scratch every single day.
9. I believe the body of Christ isn't doing it's job.
10. I believe that the man is the head of the household, the "covering" of his wife and that he is to be respected and honored and never publicly belittled.
That's just 10 of the ways I think we're weird. The message series I spoke of earlier challenges us to be weird in a GOD kind of way. I have a lot of other weird ways about me and like I said, I'll expand on those another time. I want to be set apart from the world. I want others to see Christ in me and say wow, that's weird, but yet at the same time desire to know HIM a little more. MANY of the things we do that are weird are because we believe Yahweh is leading us to be and do things differently. Unfortunately, I've encountered people who think that because I do things differently, that I will harshly judge them for not being like me.
I literally weep when I hear someone say that to me. If only you knew how much love I have for others, you wouldn't even think that. See, that's something about our world that I despise.....we automatically assume that others are judging us just because they are different. Sometimes our fears are justified and they are indeed placing judgement. We shouldn't automatically assume that though.
I'm weird.....I wanna be weird. Yahweh, make me as weird as you want to make me.
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