Even me? Wow, if I truly believe that, then I have some heart work to do here.
I have been overweight for most of my life with the exception of a period of about, oh 2 years or so, which started at the end of my Senior year in high school. My slimness continued until about 6 months after my first child was born.
I have battled the bulge and at times not even cared about the bulge. I have lost lots of weight and gained lots of weight, trying all of the various diets out there.
I'm going to tell you that it's not about the diet. It's about filling a void in my life. I'll get back to that in a minute.
It's not about avoiding a certain food. I don't care what any health expert says. I don't think food is bad. I think we make food bad. I'm bombarded right now with information that sugar is bad for you, don't eat it in any way, shape or form. Period. I've bought into this recently, but the other day I was whoa..um, sugar cane is something that grows naturally, right? I mean, man didn't make it. SO, if I believe God created everything, which I do, then I have to believe that God created sugar. Ok, I will give you this....man has messed it up. We've chemically processed and genetically modified so many things that were originally meant to be consumed in a different way. SO....I'm not going to go out and buy a 5 lb bag of white processed C&H sugar or whatever brand you want to buy. No, I don't think I'm going to consume that. However, if I want something sugary every now and then, I'm no longer going to beat myself up. ha! How's that?
Then there's meats and milk, veggies, etc. I do try to buy and consume the cleanest varieties of those things. I love buying locally grown food. I don't buy meat from the store anymore. Ugh, sorry that's just gross. I buy meat from a local dairy farmer. My husband swears that the hamburgers are the best he's ever tasted. He is the hamburger connoisseur if you must know. LOL My husband is a basic meat and potatoes kind of guy so he would know! I buy raw milk and butter, yep raw...it's good. We've been drinking it for 2 years and no one has gotten sick. So ha, how's that? ;)
Veggies I prefer from my garden or from someone local. I don't like pesticides, don't think they should be used on foods and so I steer clear if I can.
I make my own bread most of the time from freshly ground wheat flour too. Yeah, I think we eat pretty healthful.
So, why the heck am I looking at a fat woman in the mirror? See, I told you it wasn't about the diet. It's about the void....and filling it, over and over and over. People who eat a healthful diet can still be fat. You know why? Because they eat too much! There, I said it. I eat too much. I love the way food tastes and it's fun.
What void am I filling? The one where Yeshua Messiah should be. I've been a Christ follower since I was 10 years old, so 30 years now. I've been thinking a lot about how much I want Him and how much I know He wants me. I think about Him all the time, I adore Him, I worship Him, but yet, the loneliness, the sadness and the despair I often feel is somehow filled up with food more than the living water of Christ. I have a lot of pondering to do on this.
For me, it's really not about the diet, I've got that one going on. No diet, no special exercise equipment, no surgery can fix me and make me slimmer. I've got to fall on my face, daily....and fill my heart with HIM. He and I are on a lifelong journey here. He wants to be my everything and I think I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm ready to let Him be what He wants to be in my life.
Yeshua....I love you......I want my life to glorify you. Not just my words, not just my actions, but the body you've given me. I don't want to feed my body more than I feed my spirit. I give up and I lay that down at your feet. I humbly lay all I am before you. My heart has been yours for the majority of my life. Today I give you my body.
Hallelujah! I think I've just been set free!
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