I-CU time again!

I haven't been to the I-CU in awhile.  Not the hospital kind, but the Intensive Care for Christian Unschoolers kind.  It's a weekly meme......uh by the way, I hate that word meme.  It's weird.  What does that even mean?  Ok, who cares....here's my thoughts this week...

This week we want to… go see my grandparents in KS.  I have been trying to get up to see them frequently in the last few months, but had to hold off for the last 3-4 weeks because we've all had some sort of cold and my grandpa's compromised immune system didn't need that.  I miss them a lot. :(

The kids are…right this minute the girls are sleeping and the man-child is getting ready for work.  In the big picture......my oldest is working all the time, lives in another town and I rarely see or talk to her.  I miss her and I honestly don't like this kids growing up thing.  It really pains me to not see her.  The man-child is starting to work a lot more.  I miss him too.  Again, I hate that kids have to grow up. :(  The girls are great.....at least I still have them with me all the time.

I am learning…. that no matter what I do or no matter what I say, I cannot control most of the situations I find myself in.  I can't make people like me no matter how hard I try. I'm going to have to accept the fact that some people just aren't going to GET me and that is OK.  What is hardest is accepting that other Christians aren't going to GET me and some of them aren't even going to like me all that much and I am ok with that.  I don't like everyone, even some Christians, so why should I expect any different?
 EDIT: I felt like I needed to clarify something here.....I said I don't like some people and I know as a "Christian" that probably seems really bad.  If we're all honest, I think we'll admit there are just people we don't like, period. It can often be a personality clash or many other factors.  That doesn't mean that we don't love them with the love of Christ.  I think there's a big difference.  Not liking someone doesn't mean that you don't have a genuine care and concern for them as a human being.  

I am struggling with....irony.  The thing is......I miss my 2 oldest children because #1 isn't even here at all and #2 is at work or church most of the time these days, BUT....then the ironic part is lately I'm really feeling a need for some peace and quiet when everyone IS here.  It's like they can't let me be alone for more than 2 seconds.  I hate this feeling.  blah.

This week is the first time….I've felt close to my husband in a few years.  That makes me really sad on so many levels, but at the same time so very thankful.  I don't know what's happening in our relationship and I'm scared.

I am grateful…that in 42 days, I will be in the arms of my mama.  That day also happens to be her birthday.  She's the mama that my Abba Father gave to me.  She's not the mother that brought me into the world, but she's the mama that He has been preparing to love me for the rest of my life.  For many years, we've been internet friends.  I met her on a Christian women's message board and we developed a deep friendship and love for each other.  She is an amazing woman.  I've grown to trust and admire her very much.  At the beginning of this year, I felt like God told me this was my mom now and well, I've called her mom ever since.  Her husband is dad to me, her daughter is sis and her grandchildren are my nephews and niece. I love them all so much.  I love that woman....my mom.... with everything in me.  Heck, I'm teary eyed right now just thinking about her.  I want to be around her all the time.  I'm actually quite scared to go see her in person because I know I'm not going to want to leave.  Why can't I be right next door to her?  *sigh*  I love you mama.

I think…..OCTOBER.....is the best month of the year because.....the temps start cooling down and that's my favorite kind of weather.  I'm so weird.  I love wearing a light jacket but yet still being able to wear my flip flops.  LOL

Ok, I bared my soul this morning.  I think I need to go have a good cry and a talk with my Abba.