Freedom Sweet Freedom

Disclaimer:
This blog post is one that I started writing on May 28, 2011. For some reason, the devil hates me and loves to silence me. I had some set backs and decided not to finish or publish this blog post. So here we are two months later and Yahweh is stirring me once again. I found this blog post that I had saved and it REALLY does fit even more than ever. I feel like I could have written this today and not two months ago. I decided to share it because NOW is the time. :)


MAN!! When the Lord starts working, He works BIG! I wish I could tell you everything He's done in my life this week, but there just isn't enough time. Plus, I'm a bit of a blabbermouth, so ya know ;)

The biggest thing He's done is shown me that I do NOT have to be like anyone else. In fact, oh that's a reminder......need to ask forgiveness for that. I think He's pretty tired of me trying to be someone He didn't make me to be. Yahweh knew exactly what He was doing when He made me. Stephanie.....she's sensitive, emotional, passionate, kind, loving, thoughtful, contemplative, a deep thinker, a grammar nerd, a relatively good speller, a gardener, a flower lover, a wife, a mother, a friend. She loves mint chocolate chip ice cream and orange sherbet. She HATES coffee and rarely eats chocolate. She's a biological daughter and she's a God-grafted daughter to an amazing mom. She's someone who apparently talks about herself in the 3rd person. LOL!!

I'm a lot more than that, but those are things that just pop into my head. I am ME. There is so much to me, I could never tell you everything. In my effort to grow and change, I have taken on some things that just weren't me along the way. I felt that to be a "Christian" I had to do certain things, listen to a particular type of music, read this or that and only watch the "right" tv shows (because that's what others were doing). I even adapted my style of homeschooling to suit what OTHERS thought I should be doing. Let me tell you THAT has now gone out the window. If you don't like how we're choosing to educate our children, I am sorry, but that's not your business. I do not tell anyone how they should raise their kids, so please extend the same courtesy to me.

Recently, found myself reminiscing on YouTube, watching some old favorite songs and feeling GUILTY! Oh no, what if so and so found out that I still like that song? *please insert a HUGE eye roll here*. WHOA! WHAT?? Are you kidding me? Or *gasp* what if I went out in public in PANTS? What would sister so and so think of me? *really?* Yes, another eye roll. That's a whole other post in itself, but 2 years ago I felt convicted to start exploring a more feminine side of me and gave up wearing pants completely. What a journey that has been. Well.....let me publicly admit that the girls and I now have our pants back and do wear them, probably about 50/50 along with our skirts now. :) I also found myself dressing down a bit and feeling guilty if I wore much make up or jewelry. I have to tell you.....that is NOT me. This girl is a hairstylist by trade and hair is my THING! I've also loved wearing FULL makeup for as long as I can remember. I can't let anyone or anything take those things away from me. I refuse to EVER put myself in a position again where I am not being authentically, 100% ME. I love being a girly girl, make up, hair and all.

Also found myself laughing OUT LOUD at a TV program that I have LONG loved, but never admitted to anyone but my husband because oh my word, someone might find out that I enjoy something that's probably not "christian enough".

Here's my public declaration. I am ME. If you like me, that's awesome. If you don't, that's not as awesome, but it's ok. The Lord is working on that accepting myself thing and I'll be ok if you don't care for me. I wear skirts a LOT and yes, I wear pants again now too. I listen to "secular" music once in awhile and it doesn't rot my brain or cause me to act out in a sinful way. I watch TV and I like it. I am doing my best to live a Holy life according to how my Abba Father has called me to live. My life probably doesn't look like yours and that's ok too.

I am ME and I kind of like me.....no I really like me. :)